1
00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:02,334
Previously...
2
00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:04,269
I'm still kinda freaked out
about my mission last night.
3
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:06,071
I actually thought
that I was gonna die,
4
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,273
and it made me realize, the one thing
5
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,176
- that I'm missing in my life is Darien.
- A manicure.
6
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:13,112
- Wait, what? Darien?
- I still have feelings for him.
7
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:16,915
Then why are you telling me this?
You should be telling him.
8
00:00:16,951 --> 00:00:18,984
Wow, you really don't want
anything to do with me, do you?
9
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,352
I can't help it, but I do.
10
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:22,254
I'm also scared.
11
00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:24,123
Maybe we can take it slow.
12
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,924
I'm cool with that.
13
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:31,997
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
14
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,967
Okay, Darien, are you meant
to be my boyfriend or not?
15
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:36,969
Give me a signal. Any signal.
16
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,037
I am ready to respond.
17
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,373
- What?
- Nothing.
18
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,042
You were staring at me.
19
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,310
I was not staring at you.
20
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:47,212
I was staring at nothing.
21
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,947
No, I'm not saying you're nothing.
22
00:00:48,983 --> 00:00:50,349
I mean, you're definitely something.
23
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,118
I'm just saying that I
wasn't staring at you.
24
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:55,387
I was staring past you,
25
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,389
at the pinball machine.
26
00:00:57,425 --> 00:01:01,093
There's so many... beautiful... colors.
27
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:04,263
Can I ask you a question?
28
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:06,298
Yeah. Oh, sure. Absolutely.
29
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:09,134
Whatever you ask me, I
will probably say yes.
30
00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:12,337
I once fell asleep in class,
31
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:15,074
and woke up in the middle
of a chess club meeting.
32
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,076
Does that count as an
extracurricular activity?
33
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:19,278
No, that counts as narcolepsy.
34
00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,948
You might wanna see a
doctor about that.
35
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,383
Why are you asking?
36
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:27,019
Trying to beef up my application
to Morehouse College.
37
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,954
He doesn't have the grades for that,
38
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:31,223
and that's probably why
this isn't gonna work out.
39
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,093
Wait, but if you think about it,
40
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:37,196
Morehouse, that's right next
to where I wanna go to school.
41
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,364
Wait a minute, that's a signal.
42
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:42,935
Okay, Darien, look,
43
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:45,070
I get it.
44
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,071
You like me.
45
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,142
- Excuse me?
- You're applying to go to Morehouse,
46
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:52,978
which is right next to the
school I wanna go to, Spelman,
47
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:55,247
and you want us to be
girlfriend and boyfriend,
48
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,282
and you're clearly afraid of
long-distance relationships.
49
00:01:57,318 --> 00:02:00,319
I mean, I'm not stupid.
50
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:02,154
Actually, I wanna go to Morehouse
51
00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:05,090
because my father went
there, and my grandfather,
52
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,126
and three of my uncles.
53
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:09,261
Okay, maybe I'm a little stupid.
54
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,096
What's going on with you, KC?
55
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:13,132
Sorry. I'm a little embarrassed.
56
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:15,234
I just thought that you
were giving off signals
57
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:17,336
that you wanted to be a
couple or something.
58
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:18,904
I'm really bad at this.
59
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,908
Maybe not as bad as you think.
60
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:26,278
Maybe we should give the
dating thing another try.
61
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,213
I'm sorry, just to be clear,
62
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:31,016
when you say that you wanna give
the dating thing another try,
63
00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:32,317
you mean that we...
64
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:36,188
We should give the dating
thing another try.
65
00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:38,157
- Cool.
- Cool.
66
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:40,926
I knew he wanted to be
my boyfriend all along.
67
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,995
I don't know what I was worried about.
68
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:45,097
Who could say no to all of this?
69
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:49,968
? Oh, when danger comes for you ?
70
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:52,938
? You know I'll stand beside you ?
71
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:56,408
? 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their head so cool ?
72
00:02:56,443 --> 00:03:01,013
? I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ?
73
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:05,017
? Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ?
74
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:06,919
? I'm not perfect ?
75
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:10,923
? So many things I wanna tell you ?
76
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:14,927
? But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ?
77
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,929
? Livin' my life, on red alert ?
78
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,031
? Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ?
79
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,300
? Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ?
80
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,335
? But I always got your back ?
81
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,270
? Nobody can do it like I can ?
82
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,372
? I gotta find out who I am ?
83
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:31,977
? Ain't got to worry about me ?
84
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,112
? It's all part of the plan ?rcover.
85
00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:35,247
I keep it undercover.
86
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:44,990
That idiotic, pea brain,
good-for-nothing nincompoop.
87
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:45,991
Now what?
88
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,060
Mr. Vita failed me.
89
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,028
I got an F in creative writing.
90
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,330
Like his writing is any better.
91
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:54,032
It's so bad that it...
92
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,300
isn't good.
93
00:03:57,171 --> 00:04:00,872
Wow, hard to believe you got an F.
94
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,242
Let me see your paper.
95
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,877
"There once was a man who died
96
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,013
because he was carbon based."
97
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:12,351
"The end."
98
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,219
There is nothing wrong with that.
99
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,154
It's 100% factual.
100
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:18,991
Yeah, but it's not fun, or creative.
101
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,192
Who needs to be creative?
102
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:23,128
Humans need to be creative
to generate new ideas.
103
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:24,997
If someone hadn't said,
104
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:27,899
"What if I build a
walking insult machine?"
105
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,968
you wouldn't even be here.
106
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:32,237
And you wouldn't be here if
Agent Kira had just said,
107
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:35,374
"I scored with KC. Why don't
I quit while I'm ahead?"
108
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,982
( knocking on door )
109
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,185
Oh, hello, Darnell.
110
00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:48,387
It's Darien, Mr. Cooper.
111
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:49,988
Hey, same thing. Come on in.
112
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:52,991
Far enough.
113
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,960
I'm here to pick up KC for our date.
114
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,195
And you show up here in
jeans and a T-shirt?
115
00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:59,298
Haven't you ever heard of the
expression "dress to impress"?
116
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,266
We're going to the baseball game.
117
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:04,870
Huh. In that case, cool duds.
118
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,140
Now look here.
119
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,175
I like you, son. I always have.
120
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,311
But if you break my daughter's
heart one more time,
121
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,212
I will break you.
122
00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:17,983
Mr. Cooper, actually, she was
the one who broke my heart.
123
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,318
And you came back for more?
124
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:21,219
What's wrong with you, boy?
125
00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:23,889
Get some self-respect and move on.
126
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,991
Okay, what Mr. Cooper's trying to say
127
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,993
is have a nice time.
128
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,362
But if KC's not home by 11:00,
you'll be in jail by 12:00.
129
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:32,898
- You ever been in jail, boy?
- I don't think he has.
130
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,966
Hey, Mom, Dad.
131
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,968
Hey, hey.
132
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,271
I do not need you to embarrass
me in front of my date.
133
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:42,374
I can do that all on my own.
134
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:44,309
Yeah, let's go.
135
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:52,284
BOTH: So cute!
136
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:55,220
- Remember our first date?
- Of course I do.
137
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:58,090
We took the train downtown,
and I forgot my jacket.
138
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:01,259
I was a perfect gentleman
and lent you mine.
139
00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:04,096
We went to the arcade, and
we played air hockey.
140
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,897
That's right.
141
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:08,100
And I whupped your butt.
142
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,035
That's wrong.
143
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:12,003
As I recall, I beat you.
144
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,239
Well, then, you're not
recalling very well,
145
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,274
because the score was eight to three.
146
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:20,879
It was, only I had eight,
and you had three.
147
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,948
Okay, this is silly,
148
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:25,951
because the point is,
we had a great date.
149
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,919
It was. It was very great.
150
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:31,089
Especially because you were such
a good sport when I beat you!
151
00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:32,958
Ha! Now I know you're lying,
152
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,893
'cause I've never been a
good sport in my life.
153
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:44,102
- These seats are pretty good, huh?
- Yeah.
154
00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:45,170
Want some popcorn?
155
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:47,105
Oh, I'm good. Nachos.
156
00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:49,074
You know, this is nice.
157
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,176
Just the two of us, chillin'...
158
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,145
Hey, hey, I saw that, blue.
159
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,046
Listen, I've seen potatoes
with better eyes.
160
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,315
The strike zone is chest to knees.
161
00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:59,317
That's right, chest to knees.
162
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,857
Sorry. I get carried away.
163
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:07,259
Doesn't bother me.
164
00:07:15,169 --> 00:07:20,172
CROWD: Kiss, kiss, kiss,
kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss...
165
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:33,985
Sorry about that.
166
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,121
I just ruined our first kiss, didn't I?
167
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:39,991
Actually, you ruined our
first kiss last year.
168
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:42,961
You just ruined our second first kiss.
169
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,967
BOTH: This date is not going
as well as I thought it would.
170
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:58,076
Ugh! This creative writing
assignment is impossible.
171
00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:01,913
Okay, I'm gonna help you get in
touch with your creative side
172
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,249
- by doing some improvisation.
- What's that?
173
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,218
It's when you make up
characters and scenes
174
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,920
right on the spot.
Let's give it a shot.
175
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,322
You pretend you're a teacher,
176
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:13,158
and I'll pretend I'm a new student.
177
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,894
Hello. Are you my teacher?
178
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,162
No.
179
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,998
Judy, you have to say yes.
180
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,167
The number one rule in improv
181
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:24,269
is always to say "yes and..."
182
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:27,072
Now, let's try again.
183
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,007
Hello. Are you my teacher?
184
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:32,010
Yes and.
185
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:35,947
You can't just say "yes and."
186
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,148
You have to add words to it.
187
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,886
Hello. Are you my teacher?
188
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:43,955
Yes, and... are we done?
189
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,026
I can see we have more work to do.
190
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:51,029
Yes, and... I hate this.
191
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,306
Hey, Marisa, are you free
to talk for a second?
192
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,909
I'm on a little break from my date.
193
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,911
Let me guess.
194
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:08,280
You just went to the ladies
room to de-cheesify your face?
195
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:11,016
How do you know that?
196
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,318
They're playing your
epic kissing fail on TV.
197
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:17,856
Now it's on the big screen.
198
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,258
( laughing ) It's in slow motion.
199
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,862
Are you serious?
200
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,331
Sorry, KC, I can barely hear you here
201
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,133
over all the laughter.
202
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,335
I'll have to call you later. Bye.
203
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,004
That's fine. I'm actually
really busy right now.
204
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,873
I'm just dying from embarrassment.
205
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,042
You're not goin' anywhere.
206
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,878
Regina Honey, what are you doing here?
207
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:43,014
I was here watching the game,
and I saw your cheesy mug
208
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,950
up on the big screen,
and thought to myself,
209
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,985
this was the perfect time for revenge.
210
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,020
- My date...
- Is over.
211
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,322
Technically, it was over
212
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:53,925
with that sad, pathetic
attempt at kissing.
213
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,327
You're already abducting
me at laser point.
214
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,128
Do you really have to
be so mean about it?
215
00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,363
Go!
216
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,820
EYCH Okay, so what's your plan here?
217
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:08,056
All I know is, you ruined my life,
218
00:10:08,091 --> 00:10:10,859
and now, I'm gonna ruin yours.
219
00:10:10,894 --> 00:10:11,960
How did I do that?
220
00:10:11,995 --> 00:10:13,795
By busting me.
221
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,797
I spent the last two years
in prison because of you.
222
00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:18,166
Sorry, but when you threaten
to destroy the entire world,
223
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:21,169
that's kinda my job to stop you.
224
00:10:23,173 --> 00:10:25,173
We're like peanut butter
and jelly in that way.
225
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,075
Apart, two popular condiments.
226
00:10:27,110 --> 00:10:28,877
Together, the number one sandwich
227
00:10:28,912 --> 00:10:30,979
in school cafeterias across America.
228
00:10:31,014 --> 00:10:32,981
And lunch every day in prison.
229
00:10:33,016 --> 00:10:34,115
By the way,
230
00:10:34,151 --> 00:10:38,019
I hate peanut butter and jelly.
231
00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:39,888
( cell phone rings)
232
00:10:39,923 --> 00:10:41,956
Okay, that's probably my date.
233
00:10:41,992 --> 00:10:43,825
Can I just pick up and
tell him I'm okay?
234
00:10:45,162 --> 00:10:46,828
Sorry.
235
00:10:48,165 --> 00:10:50,031
When you wanna do something,
236
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:52,000
kinda my job to stop you.
237
00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:55,937
We're like peanut butter
and jelly that way.
238
00:10:55,972 --> 00:10:57,872
Right, peanut butter?
239
00:10:57,908 --> 00:10:59,908
Okay, listen, if one of us
is gonna be peanut butter,
240
00:10:59,943 --> 00:11:02,977
it's definitely you, 'cause
you're the one that's nuts.
241
00:11:06,783 --> 00:11:08,750
MARISA: You have reached KC's phone.
242
00:11:08,785 --> 00:11:10,919
This is Marisa's melodious voice
243
00:11:10,954 --> 00:11:12,921
leaving the outgoing
message, because KC's voice
244
00:11:12,956 --> 00:11:15,123
is bland and monotonous.
Leave a message.
245
00:11:15,158 --> 00:11:17,192
KC: Marisa, what are you
doing with my phone?
246
00:11:17,227 --> 00:11:19,060
( beep )
247
00:11:19,096 --> 00:11:20,829
Hey, it's me again.
248
00:11:20,864 --> 00:11:22,997
Where are you?
249
00:11:23,033 --> 00:11:25,100
I'm starting to get a little worried.
250
00:11:25,135 --> 00:11:26,968
Call me.
251
00:11:29,039 --> 00:11:32,974
Okay, Judy, you've got
the hang of "yes and."
252
00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:35,110
So let's try to build a full scene.
253
00:11:35,145 --> 00:11:38,012
It may seem intimidating,
but just remember,
254
00:11:38,048 --> 00:11:39,914
say whatever pops in your head.
255
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,117
You're a mouth breather.
256
00:11:42,152 --> 00:11:44,185
Okay, not that.
257
00:11:44,221 --> 00:11:46,755
I haven't even given
you a suggestion yet.
258
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,857
Let's try an easy one.
259
00:11:48,892 --> 00:11:51,926
You be a doctor, and I'll be a patient.
260
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:59,734
Doc, I think there's
something wrong with me.
261
00:11:59,770 --> 00:12:02,070
Yeah. It's your brain.
262
00:12:03,874 --> 00:12:07,742
I'm diagnosing you with a
severe case of stupidity.
263
00:12:09,179 --> 00:12:11,012
You know, Judy,
264
00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:13,782
name calling is very
unprofessional for a doctor.
265
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:16,151
New scene. We'll both be firefighters.
266
00:12:18,121 --> 00:12:20,755
Whoa, this fire's getting big.
267
00:12:20,791 --> 00:12:22,957
Yeah, you shouldn't have lit it.
268
00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,061
But it's not your fault,
269
00:12:27,097 --> 00:12:30,965
because you were recently diagnosed
with a severe case of stupidity.
270
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,967
Can we please move away from that?
271
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,803
This is a different scene.
272
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,771
Now help me put out this fire.
273
00:12:36,807 --> 00:12:37,872
And be creative.
274
00:12:41,211 --> 00:12:43,178
Was that creative enough for you?
275
00:12:47,217 --> 00:12:49,050
Okay, come on, what's your plan?
276
00:12:49,085 --> 00:12:51,085
I don't know.
277
00:12:51,121 --> 00:12:55,223
I mean, it's not like I
thought this thing through.
278
00:12:55,258 --> 00:12:57,992
Really? 'Cause I figured
that two hours ago.
279
00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:01,930
It's not like I have
anywhere to go anyway.
280
00:13:01,965 --> 00:13:05,066
Darien probably hates
me, because he thinks
281
00:13:05,101 --> 00:13:07,702
I walked out on him and
don't like him anymore.
282
00:13:07,737 --> 00:13:09,871
I cannot believe this
is happening again.
283
00:13:09,906 --> 00:13:11,706
What do you mean, again?
284
00:13:11,741 --> 00:13:13,708
Darien and I used to date.
285
00:13:13,743 --> 00:13:15,944
Everything was great, like,
really, really great,
286
00:13:15,979 --> 00:13:17,812
and then, spying got in the way,
287
00:13:17,848 --> 00:13:19,781
and I had to break up with him.
288
00:13:19,816 --> 00:13:21,716
Then I got a second chance with him,
289
00:13:21,751 --> 00:13:24,018
and I promised myself that I
would not break his heart,
290
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,154
but here I am, doing the
same thing all over again.
291
00:13:26,189 --> 00:13:28,156
( sighs )
292
00:13:28,191 --> 00:13:30,124
I don't know why I'm telling you.
293
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,060
It's not like you would
understand or even care.
294
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:35,897
Are you crying?
295
00:13:35,932 --> 00:13:37,065
No.
296
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,833
Maybe a little.
297
00:13:40,203 --> 00:13:44,138
Okay, 'cause I was thinking about
kicking my way out of this,
298
00:13:44,174 --> 00:13:47,008
but, uh, I can't really
kick you if you're crying.
299
00:13:49,212 --> 00:13:51,946
His name was Joey Damico.
300
00:13:51,982 --> 00:13:55,984
We started seeing each other
when we were about your age.
301
00:13:56,019 --> 00:14:00,154
He was so sweet and cute,
302
00:14:00,190 --> 00:14:04,092
and he was the first boy in my
grade who had to shave every day.
303
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,898
And he breathed through his
mouth like a little puppy.
304
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,165
So what happened?
305
00:14:11,201 --> 00:14:13,835
I don't know.
306
00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:16,137
I guess I fell in with the wrong crowd,
307
00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:18,873
and started committing petty larcenies,
308
00:14:18,909 --> 00:14:20,909
and light racketeering,
309
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:22,911
toppling a few foreign governments.
310
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,846
You know, the uzhe.
311
00:14:24,881 --> 00:14:28,116
Joey didn't want any part of that.
312
00:14:28,151 --> 00:14:29,717
He moved on.
313
00:14:30,987 --> 00:14:33,755
I let my job get in the way of love.
314
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:43,097
Uh... I'm not really complaining,
315
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:45,099
but what are you doing?
316
00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:47,936
Go. Be with Joey.
317
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:49,871
Uh... Darien. Whatever his name is.
318
00:14:49,906 --> 00:14:51,205
Okay.
319
00:14:51,241 --> 00:14:53,841
I just hope he's still
there waiting for me.
320
00:14:55,178 --> 00:14:57,178
Um, thank you, by the way.
321
00:14:59,182 --> 00:15:01,849
Oh, I'm too late.
322
00:15:01,885 --> 00:15:04,018
Although in retrospect,
the empty parking lot
323
00:15:04,054 --> 00:15:06,754
should've been the first tip-off.
324
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:14,913
Craig, what's that?
325
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,714
The truth!
326
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,684
We are gonna settle the score
327
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,753
right here, right now.
328
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,521
Okay, let me get this straight.
329
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:26,624
You're so cheap, you won't
buy name-brand soda,
330
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:29,827
but you'll buy an air hockey
table to settle a dispute?
331
00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:31,829
Because I'm tired of drinking
6-Up and Mountain Don't.
332
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:34,933
It's on.
333
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:37,502
Oh, baby.
334
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:38,770
Oh, baby, that's right.
335
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:40,638
- Are you ready, Craig?
- Show me what you got.
336
00:15:40,674 --> 00:15:42,607
BOTH: Show me what you got.
337
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,575
Come on, Craig. What's happening?
338
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,778
( chattering indistinctly )
339
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:48,646
Whoo!
340
00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:50,782
Oh, yeah.
341
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:53,718
Oh, yeah. Come on, Craig, let's go.
342
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,487
- Ha ha. - You ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
343
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:57,922
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
344
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,693
Ooh! Ooh! Watch out.
345
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:18,476
All right, Craig. Next goal wins.
346
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:19,711
- Are ya ready?
- I'm ready.
347
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,546
I don't think you're ready.
348
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,482
I beat ya!
349
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,783
In your face!
350
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:28,553
I beat you like I beat
you 20 years ago.
351
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:31,556
Ha ha! Now admit it, Craig.
Say I beat you.
352
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,558
Yeah, you beat me.
353
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:34,759
( laughing )
354
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,761
Yeah, thank you very much.
355
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,730
Because I let you win.
356
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,898
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did. Best two out of three?
357
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:43,634
Okay, it's on like Donkey Kong.
358
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,870
And as I recall, I beat
you at that as well.
359
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:48,539
You never beat me at no Donkey Kong.
360
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:49,707
- Come on!
- Let's go.
361
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:55,646
Marisa, it's over.
362
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,815
Okay? I broke his heart again,
363
00:16:57,851 --> 00:16:59,450
- and he hates me.
- Ow!
364
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:00,818
Snap out of it, KC.
365
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,887
I'm not gonna let you
give up this easily.
366
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:05,656
All you have to do I
367
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,825
Marisa, I tried, okay, and
nothing sounds believable.
368
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,627
All good lies are based in truth,
369
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,763
so let's start with that.
You got up because...
370
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:12,897
I went to the ladies room.
371
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,732
And that is where you say you were.
372
00:17:14,768 --> 00:17:16,467
For six hours?
373
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,704
That is disgusting.
374
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:22,473
Exactly. Nobody asks
follow-up questions
375
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:24,709
when the story is that gross.
376
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:25,910
Wait, what are you guys talking about?
377
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:27,745
We're trying to come up
with a good cover story
378
00:17:27,781 --> 00:17:28,913
for why KC left Darien on their date.
379
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,515
Okay, Judy, you ready?
380
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,783
I am ready.
381
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,584
Two people at a ballgame,
382
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,853
and one of them disappears.
What happened?
383
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:37,855
You were at the baseball game,
384
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,458
and you went to the
restroom to fix your hair.
385
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:43,761
While inside, there was an earthquake
386
00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:45,930
that caused a pillar to fall down,
387
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:49,500
trapping you inside the bathroom.
388
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:52,870
So why didn't Darien
feel this earthquake?
389
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,639
Because it was a micro quake.
390
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,675
Barely registered on the Richter scale,
391
00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:00,478
but it was strong enough
to open up a sinkhole
392
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,513
right under the bathroom sink.
393
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,816
And why wasn't this on the news?
394
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:08,586
Because the stadium made sure of it.
395
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,521
Oswald Moneypenny, the new owner,
396
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,423
was over-leveraged with
this real estate purchase,
397
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,659
and called the publisher of
the newspaper, his cousin...
398
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,794
Larrabee Moneypenny.
399
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:20,531
Yes, and Larrabee Moneypenny,
who covered it up,
400
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:23,835
because his cousin
Oswald had dirt on him
401
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,837
from something that happened to
them when they were teenagers
402
00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:27,872
on a fishing expedition
that I will not go into.
403
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:32,443
Boom.
404
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,779
Improv.
405
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:38,583
Well, I guess it's better than saying
I was on the toilet for six hours.
406
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:47,692
So that's why you didn't
hear about the earthquake
407
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:50,528
on the news, because
408
00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:51,829
Mr. Moneypenny... remember him...
409
00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:53,865
he called his cousin,
410
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:57,468
and I'm not really at liberty to say
411
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,537
what happened on that
fishing expedition,
412
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,839
but, uh, suffice to say,
413
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:04,842
three went out, two came back.
414
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:10,548
Yeah, how dumb do you think I am?
415
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,749
Okay, fine.
416
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,652
I was constipated for six hours,
417
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,854
and I shouldn't have
eaten all that cheese.
418
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,525
KC, stop, all right?
419
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:21,792
I know exactly where
you disappeared to.
420
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,529
- You do?
- Yeah.
421
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:25,796
It's 'cause I tried to kiss you.
422
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,532
What?
423
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,534
I was the one who said
we should go slow,
424
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:30,801
and I went too fast.
425
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,905
Guess I got caught up by
the whole Kiss Cam thing.
426
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:36,607
But that's no excuse. I
never should've done that.
427
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:41,612
'Cause I don't even
know if this is right.
428
00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:43,581
Oh, thank goodness.
429
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,883
Wait, excuse me.
430
00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:47,818
I am so glad you said that,
431
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,820
because, well, honestly,
432
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,723
I was feeling that way, too.
433
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,592
This is not right, Darien,
434
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,794
and I don't know, I just
didn't say anything,
435
00:19:56,829 --> 00:20:00,665
because last time, I'm the
one who disappointed you.
436
00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:05,703
Honestly, I just think
we're better off as...
437
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:06,938
BOTH: Friends.
438
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:08,839
Yeah.
439
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:11,576
- We cool?
- Yeah, we're cool.
440
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,678
Uh, maybe we should...
441
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,713
There we go.
442
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,784
You know what? Sometimes,
things don't work out.
443
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,555
But sometimes, they do.
444
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,795
( knocking on door )
445
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,799
Regina.
446
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,801
It's me, Joey Damico.
447
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,769
Joey!
448
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:41,706
What are you doing here?
449
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,808
I came over because...
450
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,876
after all these years, I realized
451
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,678
I still love you.
452
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:49,814
Really? Wait.
453
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,782
How did you find me?
454
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,987
Some girl contacted me and
gave me your address.
455
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:57,989
Said something about
peanut butter and jelly.
456
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,926
Anyway, I thought I'd come over
457
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:04,462
and ask you if you, you know,
458
00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,864
you wanna grab some coffee
and, uh, talk about things.
459
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:09,567
I'd love that.
460
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,706
Thanks, peanut butter.
461
00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:20,778
Rob, your name's on TV.
462
00:21:20,828 --> 00:21:25,378
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